


Wake Me Up

by AprilFool



Series: Wake Me Up When September Ends [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Autumn, Drowning, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Fire, Funeral, Heartache, Heartbreak, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Mind Palace, Near Death Experiences, POV First Person, September - Freeform, Sherlock's Mind Palace, Summer, War, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 17:04:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10746060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AprilFool/pseuds/AprilFool
Summary: Part one of "Wake Me Up When September Ends".John is back in Afghanistan. It's the day everything ends.





	Wake Me Up

**Author's Note:**

> The covered song "Wake me up when September ends" by Scala & Kolacny Brothers inspired me

I hear my shot and I hear the shot of mine. I do not feel the bullet touching me but I try to stare down at myself, try to watch metal entering flesh. I cannot see my neck. But I can see red rain. Dropping. Dribbling. Spraying. Running. Washing all my senses away for a moment. The world stops turning, moving. But my heart keeps beating. Seconds of frozen peace in a war zone. I want to observe this photograph but the scenery is overexposed.

The rain starts to splatter. It makes me thirsty. I let go of my gun, I need both my hands now. I need to keep the rain inside me. Red drops water the dust beneath me. I follow them on the ground. I try to collect them, want to put them back inside me. They do not belong into this world. A world so cruel and far away from you. A blazing pandemonium that wants to annex me. But you are the one who owns every vein, every tear, every thought of me.

I get my senses back.   
I breathe. Dust in my lungs.   
The world starts moving again. I become solid.   
I lay down. I fall down. I fall like in a dream.

Brightness surrounds me. Just one colour. Red. I let my heart skip a beat. I turn the red into blue. I turn the rain into eyes. Your eyes.   
I whisper your name in my thoughts.   
I carve a love letter into my heart.

All we have now is our past.

I once begged God to let me live. And he did. I do not think that He hears my cry one more time. You do not hear my cry either.   
I do not need Him anymore. I need you, I want you by my side now. I need to feel your touch one last time. You can stop the rain, the pain, the tears.

In and out. Blue air and red water.

My mind is skipping thoughts.

There is a box in my drawer, a blue one. Open it. There are memories inside. I treasured them since we first met. Even that old mobile phone. It still has all your texts on it.   
Burn it. Burn it all.

I have to protect you. I always had.   
Where ever you go this world is too cold for you, no coat, no scarf can warm you.   
Love is a vicious motivator, but memories are much more maleficent.   
Do not follow me. Do not cry white tears for me. Drink your tea and keep yourself clean.

Demolish, devastate your mind palace. It will be nothing more than a bleak house with hollow floors and broken doors.

It is our fate, as you are my mind and I am your heart.

Breathe. Breathe. Breath. Air like a sky. Clouds like the sea.

You always wanted me, only me. I keep you right, you said. And then I left you and kept you broken.

I never imagined our farewell because I was sure that we will not have a farewell. 

There is no rain anymore, just my tears. I wish you could hold my hand, I wish I could feel your heart beat one last time. You were my everything. In the end we are all clichés.

There is no sky above me anymore.

Please wake me up, because this is not a dream. Wake me up!

_Sherlock_.


End file.
